Clam, crab, cockle, cowrie

New Mormon.org: Transparency dispels myths about Mormons

2010-07-16T15:29:00.001-07:00

by Emily Robbins

In a world where the isolation of the Internet has replaced the lively town square as the go-to source for information, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is trying to use communication and friendship to make their voice heard.

The Church launched the latest version of Mormon.org Wednesday night, with a new focus on individual members’ experiences and beliefs, and an attempt at using conversational language to dispel rumors and myths about Mormonism.

“It’s all about transparency,” said Ron Wilson, Manager of Internet and Marketing at the Church Missionary Department. “Our members are out talking everyday to their friends and they’re saying it how they say it and they explain things the way that they think. We really felt like this [Web site] should not be a cultural voice from an institution.”

Throughout the history of Mormonism, there has been a pervasive misconception that it is a religion for conservative white males, but Church membership statistics simply do not support that idea.

Mormon.org 4.0 is an effort by the Church to show the world that members of the Church don’t fit into a single “Mormon” mold.

“This really is about portraying the face of the Church, because the Church is a collective of individuals, and we all have our own challenges and our own life to live, but we’re bound by the gospel of Jesus Christ as a common belief,” Wilson said.

Mormon.org is the culmination of years of research and efforts to make the site most effective.

It needed to be an accurate representation of the face of the Church; a place where members talk candidly about their beliefs, where transparency prevails, and a curious web-browser can learn about Mormonism by getting to know members of the church in a casual way, much like having a virtual Mormon friend.

During the brainstorming process of this project, Wilson and the other developers had several “ah ha” moments, one of which was that people who have Mormon friends or family, or who have come in contact with someone who is Mormon, are far less likely to have misconceptions about the faith.

“If they don’t know Mormons they believe things like, Mormons practice polygamy, and they’re racist and they’re sexist, and some of these other things that if they know a Mormon, they know that’s not correct," Wilson said.

This Web site is a tool for sharing personal beliefs and faith, in a conversational environment.

Every member of the Mormon Church has at one time or another felt the pressure of the phrase “every member a missionary.”

The nature of the new Mormon.org offers a way for members across the globe to guiltlessly lift the weight of this axiom from their shoulders.

Members who don’t have many missionary opportunities, who are uncomfortable, nervous or afraid of the questions they might be asked, now have a way to share their testimonies with the world.

“This is a really safe way for your voice to be heard and be added to the conversation,” Wilson said. “You can create a profile on Mormon.org, put the reasons out there why you’re a member of the Church and you’re doing missionary work.”

While members are creating their profiles, they can choose from a list of frequently asked questions by people of other faiths. This gives members an opportunity to address these issues, from polygamy to whether or not Mormons worship Joseph Smith, along with many other common questions.

“We’ve got people who’ve talked about Prop 8, abortion, same gender attraction issues, profiles of members who are facing those challenges in their life; it really does run the gamut,” Wilson said. “You can imagine that if it’s been talked about or discussed it’s probably on the site.”

Some early critics of the site have voiced concern that censorship of member’s profiles might be heavy-handed, but Brother Wilson is clear that blanket censorship would defeat the purpose of the site.

All member profiles undergo a screening process; although the focus is mostly on protecting intellectual property rights and making sure members don’t disclose too much personal information, such as where they live or where their children go to school.

As far as answers about Church doctrine go, members’ answers have to be accurate. While they are encouraged to speak more conversationally and be relaxed in their answers to FAQ’s, the answers have to meet the sites objective of dispelling misinformation, not add to the pool. But, members are free to be honest in their opinions.

“If they say something like ‘I believe…’ or ‘my feelings are…’ then that’s their personal belief, we’re not in a position to tell them that’s not accurate, that’s what they believe; whatever they have to say is appropriate.”

The Web site also provides the ability for members to link to their outside blogs, Facebook pages, Twitter accounts or whatever they’re using from a social networking standpoint. Those pages will not be edited or affected in anyway, so members can use those venues to express any ideas or opinions not appropriate for a Church-sponsored Web site.

In the coming months the Church hopes to improve Mormon.org by adding enhancements and launching a major advertising campaign.

Enhancements to the site include allowing members to add more media to their profiles, such as pictures and video to fill out their personal site. Several profiles already include more media, because those members have been chosen to be apart of the ad campaign.

The Internet will carry the load of the global campaign.

“It’ll be something similar to ‘Hi, my name’s Joy. I’m a wife, I’m a mother, I live in Hawaii, I’m the world long board surf champion and I’m a Mormon.’ And then there’ll be a URL that will be Mormon.org/joy and it would take you right to her profile page, and you’ll learn more about Joy and why she’s a member, how she lives her faith, who she is and how she feels about the church,” Wilson said.

In the U.S. the advertising will include, print, radio, TV, billboards and transit.

Another enhancement the Church hopes to add is allowing members to link from their blogs, Facebook pages and so on, directly to their profile on Mormon.org.

For years bloggers have been providing links to Church Web sites, but with the new Mormon.org, and the use of individual profiles, people investigating the Church can walk into a member’s private profile instead of a big site, and they can feel comfortable looking around and branching out further into the site if they so choose.

“It would be really nice for the member of the church who owns the blog to be able to hold their hand and say 'let me take you in, this is what I believe about the Church, this is my page on the site,'” Wilson explained.

The number of member profiles on the site is growing exponentially. In the first six weeks after the Church requested members create their own profiles they had 15,000 responses. During the first week about 2,000 of those profiles will be available to view, and in the weeks to follow thousands more will begin to pop up on the site. According to Wilson, by the end of the year the Church hopes to reach 100,000 profiles.

With the number of profiles growing, Wilson hopes that eventually every person who searches on the new Mormon.org “will have somebody they can relate to.”

Feel free to check it out for yourself! www.mormon.org
And, if you're LDS create your own profile: www.mormon.org/create

Feminists in the Mormon Faith

2009-06-03T09:12:00.000-07:00

by Emily Hudson

Sitting in her home office, a one-room building separate from the noise and the tumult of a house full of toddlers, Janet Garrard-Willis took a moment away from working on her dissertation to talk about something that means a lot to her—feminism.

Willis is a mother, a teacher, a feminist and a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, also known as the Mormons. All her life she’s been comfortable with the term “feminist.” She has been active in pushing for gender equity since her college days at Brigham Young University and through her contributions to the popular blog, Feminist Mormon Housewives.

“Part of my fun with the blog has been serving as a bridge between people who are angry and people who are being misunderstood,” Willis said. “I think I’m the wuss of the blog!”

Though Willis has been suffering with illness these last few years, she hasn’t lost her sense of humor. As she fumbled with the papers on her desk she mentioned that the idea of feminism in the Mormon church often causes conflict. She calls this unnecessary conflict “The Mommy Wars.”

“The biggest feminist problem in the church isn’t between men and women, it’s between the women and women,” Willis said.
“There’s a divide among the stay-at-home and the working moms.”

Willis has noticed that the tension between these two groups is created when they begin to feel threatened by each others life choices, thinking that one must be right and the other must be wrong. According to Willis, that simply isn’t the case.

“The whole point of the church is that we’re supposed to be helping each other,” Willis said. “If we all had the same skills we would be boring! We need to respect each other’s limitations as women.”

Willis brought up Paul’s New Testament body metaphor, saying that we all have different roles to play. Without all of the different parts the body wouldn’t function.

Though she is a victim of rape and was almost kicked out of school for supposedly lying when she accused the man who had attacked her, Willis isn’t bitter or angry. Throughout our conversation she emphasized the importance of respecting women’s choices as she laughed about the idea of feminism being the “F” word in Mormon culture. She thought it was ridiculous that the word would elicits such a negative knee-jerk reaction in people.

“If you use the ‘F’ word people freak out,” Willis acknowledged. ”It’s unfortunate, because what woman in the room doesn’t like to vote?”

As we spoke she mentioned the three distinct feminist movements over the years, referred to as the first, second and third wave.

According to Cheryl B. Preston, author of the article “Not letting Patriarchy or Feminism Destroy our Faith,” first wave feminism arose in the 19th century and dealt mainly with equal opportunities and suffrage for women.

Second wave feminism was prominent from the 1960s to the 1970s and came about as a response to perceived oppression of groups such as blacks, homosexuals and women. This is the wave most often associated with feminism since most church members grew up during its most prominent years, and because its advocates were so radical and socially outrageous.

Third wave feminism is where we are today. This feminism challenges the notion of a universal type of womanhood. A third-wave feminist says that she is a unique individual who will make unique choices.

This feminism also encourages ambiguity and individualism. It is a difficult wave of feminism to define and classify because it means so many different things to so many people.

But, the most important aspect of this third wave, is that it advocates that women’s choices be respected as unique decisions.
The third wave of feminism is the wave with which most Mormon women identify since it encourages a personal application of feminist beliefs that fit their individual lives. The Mormon faith places a huge emphasis on family, so Mormon women can express and empower themselves within the role of an active mother, if that is what they choose.

In other words, the third wave of feminism allows for feminist Mormon housewives. Women can continue to progress and value themselves from their homes if that is where they choose to stay.

In August of 1993, Bruce C. Hafen addressed Brigham Young University students during his stint as provost of the university.
In this talk he spoke about the multiple facets of feminism. He mentioned that many forms of feminism “emphasize the unique dimensions of women’s experiences and perspectives. They also seek to broaden society’s governing paradigms to include such female values as nurturing, cooperation and personal relationships.”

Cindy Brewer is one such feminist. Just over five feet, Cindy’s personality immediately fills the room and embraces you as you walk into her warm, yet hectic home.

As a mother of seven and a full-time professor at Brigham Young University, Cindy leads a full life. She is what some people would call a super-woman. She got married before she got her bachelor’s degree, but still graduated from BYU. At the same time as she and her husband began to expand their family, she earned her graduate degree, and as she walked across the stage to accept her doctorate, she was trailed by four small children plus one on the way.

She is a dedicated mother and professor, and she is unshakable in her faith. She is out to show all good men and women in her faith, that even though they may cringe at the word, they are probably feminists.

“Anyone who believes that women with the same qualifications should get the same pay as a man in the same position as her is a feminist,” said Brewer. “Anyone who believes in equality regardless of a person’s gender, race or social class is a feminist.”

Brewer spoke candidly as we discussed the implications of her being both a feminist and a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. One of the biggest issues, she said, was that people don’t understand what it means to be a feminist. Many church members think of feminists as the radical, man-haters of the 70s, but that, Brewer said, is an unfortunate fallacy.

She identified the portrayal of feminism in the popular media as the main reason for the confusion.

“The portrayal of feminism by the mass media is in some ways the same as the portrayal of Mormonism,” Brewer explained. “When the popular media talks about Mormons all you hear about is polygamy, and when they talk about feminists all you hear about are the radicals. They have elements of truth, but it’s usually distorted.”

She emphasized that neither radical feminists nor polygamist Mormons are representative of the majority of either group. Mainstream Mormonism abandoned the practice of polygamy in the late 1800s. And, though it is only a few members of small factions that separated from the Mormon church around 1890 who continue to practice polygamy today, plural marriage is still heavily associated with members of the Mormon faith.

In comparison, there are a few women in the world who live lives of radical second wave feminist standards. Yet no matter how small that percentage of people remains, it is what people generally associate with the word feminism.

“Because women aren’t burning their bras, bashing men, and living angry lives, they don’t realize that they are feminists,” Brewer laughed. “I think a lot of men don’t realize that they’re feminists as well.”

Feminism, Patriarchy and Mormonism

Since the flame of feminism was lit in the women’s suffrage movement, feminism has meant different things to different people. To Brewer, feminism is all about equality and mutual respect, not radicalism.

“I’m a follower of Jesus Christ and that’s much more radical,” Brewer exclaimed. “When the world taught that power was everything, Christ said ‘Blessed are the meek.’ He taught that hierarchies were a worldly thing.”

Brewer said that if you think more power means that you’re better than someone else, you couldn’t be more mistaken. She talked about Christ’s meek and gentle attributes, the way he served everyone regardless of gender or nationality and how he spoke to and healed both men and women equally.

Christ taught that people in powerful positions are no greater than the lowliest person on the earth. “In that way, I think Christ was a feminist,” Brewer said.

Brewer has strong convictions about the truthfulness of the church and believes her feminism to completely coincide with Mormon doctrine.

There are some women in the Mormon church who believe they should be allowed to hold positions as bishops and even prophets. They want to be given the priesthood because the men are given the priesthood. Brewer seemed to be unconcerned with that line of thinking.

“Sure, I think women in leadership positions could help things, but I just don’t think that’s what it’s about,” she said. “The core of the gospel is about individual responsibility.”

Brewer acknowledged that many of her friends outside of her faith criticize the church about the established, male-dominated leadership, but it doesn’t sway her in her beliefs or her feminism.

“What about the structure of the church is gospel and what is culture? I don’t know and I don’t care,” Brewer said. “I don’t think the church is about perfect people. It’s not about hierarchies, it’s about believing in Christ.”

As for women and the priesthood, Brewer doesn’t see how anyone who understands the gospel of Christ could think that it gives men a greater intrinsic worth.

“They aren’t higher than me, not by virtue of the priesthood or their calling,” Brewer stated adamantly. “Christ said it makes them my servant.”

Education, Careers and the Family

The concept of the family is central to the doctrine of the Mormon church. Within this doctrine Mormons believe that ideally, men and women have specific roles to play when it comes to raising and supporting a family.

According to the written statement by church leaders, “The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” men are to be fathers and are responsible for providing the necessities of life and protection for their families. Women are therefore called to be mothers who are primarily responsible for nurturing their children.

“In these sacred responsibilities,” the Proclamation states, “fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation.”

Some women in the church, who have feminist tendencies, seem to have a problem with this statement, perhaps because they do not truly understanding its intention.

In 2005, Cecil O. Samuelson, president of Brigham Young University, talked with BYU women in the physics and science majors and encouraged them in their path of education.

As he spoke about “The Proclamation,” he shared with his female audience his feelings on what it teaches.

Samuelson explained that the document was a declaration of the ideal, not a demand that all men and women everywhere adhere to its dictates regardless of their situations.

“Do the brethren not know that many or perhaps even most do not live in perfect or ideal family situations? Of course they do,” Samuelson said. “They also know that it is important to keep the ideal before us so that we can make the best approximations to the ideal that our individual circumstances allow.”

He encouraged his audience to ignore those who would criticize them and avoid the naysayers. People should proceed through their lives based on the personal directions they receive from the Lord.

Samuelson is not the only member of the church to encourage women to get educations and live lives specific to their personal revelations.

Gordon B. Hinckley, president of the church from 1995 until his death in 2008, counseled the women of the church to be strong and motivated.

“If you will take control of your lives, the future is filled with opportunity and gladness,” Hinckley said. “You cannot afford to waste your talents or your time.”

In a talk titled “Daughters of God,” Elder M. Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, said there is no perfect way to be a good mother. He acknowledged that every family’s situation is different. Some women will have to work, some women will want to work and will divide their time between their family and their job.

“What matters,” he said, “is that a mother loves her children deeply and, in keeping with the devotion she has for God and her husband, prioritizes them above all else.”

President Samuelson told his female audience that the choices of what to do with this life were theirs, but that no matter what they chose, they would have to live with the consequences.

“One of the questions that seems to be at the crux of many of your concerns is the issue, ‘Do I have to give up everything else important to me to become (you fill in the blank)?’” Samuelson said. “My short answer is no. But that is also my same short answer when I am asked, ‘Can I have it all and still be a (again you fill in the blank)?’”

Feminist thought, which advocates of equality and mutual respect for all of God’s children, is not an enemy of Mormon doctrine. Instead, it empowers faithful Mormon women like Janet Garrard-Willis and Cindy Brewer, and gives them the power to develop and express their individuality as strong members of their faith and adamant feminists. Both beliefs have blessed their families and their homes by helping them to be well rounded, encouraging and confident wives, mothers and employees.

Viva Lascivious Las Vegas!

2009-06-03T08:53:00.000-07:00

by Emily Hudson

As pop star Regina Spektor once said, “Summer in the city means cleavage, cleavage, cleavage,” and it is definitely summer in Las Vegas, Nevada.

The sun beats down on Las Vegas Boulevard as the tourists and locals swarm the sidewalks and casinos, looking for the next exciting distraction. Lights flash in the slot machine-filled lobbies of the Pallagio hotel, Caesar’s Palace, Treasure Island and the Venetian. Every Black Jack table is full, and the empty seats in front of the “penny slots” beckon passers-by to sit down and try their luck.

No matter when you arrive at your Vegas destination, there will invariably be something happening somewhere.

People from all over the world come to Vegas. Walking down the strip I ran into Stefan and Sandra Weissmann, a young couple from Straubing, Germany who flew to Vegas for a four-day weekend with their family.

The Weissmann’s stood in front of the unnaturally blue waters of the Pallagio hotel, holding hands and drinking in the Vegas atmosphere.

“We’ve been here since Monday, and we have to leave tomorrow,” Stefan said smiling broadly behind his aviators, his German dialect drawing attention from people passing by. “It’s such a wonderful place. We just came to have fun and to play!”

As if the bright lights and the seemingly never-ending list of attractions weren’t enough of a draw, the people in Vegas are incredibly nice. An employee of the local Deseret Industries smiled and chatted as she bagged up my thrift store finds, and fellow sidewalkers smiled and struck up conversations. It’s dubious, however whether that joviality is influenced by the never-ending supply of alcoholic beverages in Vegas.

It is the friendliness and the booze that brought Chris Hansen up from Texas for the weekend.

Hansen, a building coordinator for Texas power plants, didn’t look like much of a businessman in his Hawaiian shorts and white T-shirt. Especially holding the amount of alcohol he had in his hand.

"This is the best place in the world,” Hansen said enthusiastically as he paused to take a drink from his oversized gallon of beer. “If you need to get away for the weekend you can just come here, enjoy the big city and the really nice people. It’s just great.”

Yes, Vegas is a fun weekend getaway. But if you were thinking about bringing the kids, you may want to reconsider your vacation city.

“Vegas tried the whole ‘family friendly’ approach a couple years back, and it was a flop,” said Trustin Anderson, a resident of Vegas who moved down for graduate school at the Univeristy of Las Vegas Nevada. “Now they’re back to their old ‘what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas’ motto.”

Hotels like Treasure Island used to have some family-focused shows, but it would seem that the revenue for a family hot spot just wasn’t there for Vegas. Now the shows at Treasure Island focus more on the pirate wenches than anything the kids would be interested in.

Residents of Vegas seem less enthralled with its charms and more bothered by its paradox.

“It’s weird here,” said Cody Schafer, life-long resident of Las Vegas. “People visit here to party, but people move here to be left alone.”

Vegas residents are most likely disenchanted by the city’s slums, which surround most of the strip and most of the actual city.

North Las Vegas Boulevard is the opposite of shiny and exciting. It is dilapidated and has a “lock the car doors” kind of a feel. It’s seven blocks of shady drive-by chapels and gentlemen’s clubs that hail to the city’s not-so-distant past.

Crime is also a concern in North Las Vegas. According to cityrating.com, North Las Vegas’s crime rate per capita is 1.29 times higher than the national average in the areas of “All Violent Crime,” which includes “Murder,” “Forcible Rape” and “Aggravated Assault.” Comparably, “All Property Crimes” in the Northern part of the city sit at a meager 1.10 times the national average.

However, most tourists won’t see that side of Vegas, unless they get wasted and decide to marry the worker from the craps table. People who come to Vegas for the thrills will most likely stay on the glistening strip, gambling all through the night in the windowless casinos.

Gambling is possibly the main reason why people come to Vegas, and is definitely the reason they leave with lighter pockets. According to insidervlv.com, nearly $7 billion were lost in Vegas just in Casinos on the strip in 2007.

So, if you’re feeling lucky and up to the challenge of avoiding the drive-by pornography, Vegas is a viable vacation option.

If you plan on coming, you must absolutely schedule your trip so you arrive at night. It is, after all, the city of lights. Whether you’re driving or flying, the sudden luminescent explosion as you reach your destination is an important part of the Vegas experience.

States may remove the death penalty to save money

2009-06-03T08:48:00.000-07:00

by Emily Hudson

Anecdotal Lead: Local story; Utah family affected by the death penalty.

For decades the death penalty has been a taboo topic among acquaintances, spurring countless moral arguments at the dinner table of average Americans all the way to the lofty benches of the highest court in the nation and back.

Yet, this year alone 11 states put forth legislation to abolish the death penalty. The reason has nothing to do with religion or politics, but about one major factor: the money.

In the past few months, state governments looking for budget cuts to ease to weight of the sinking national economy have begun considering the cost-effectiveness of the death penalty, some in lieu of their previous pro-capital convictions.

On March 18, New Mexico became the 15th state to abolish capital punishment in spite of Governor Bill Richardson’s previous long-term support of pro-capital punishment.

The bill removes capital punishment as an option, but replaces it with a sentence of life in prison without the possibility of parole.

Many opponents of the bill argued that abolishing capital punishment would remove a major factor helping to deter heinous crimes in the state. Richardson, on the other hand was convinced otherwise.

“Yes, the death penalty is a tool for law enforcement. But it’s not the only tool,” Richardson said last Wednesday at the signing. “For some would-be criminals, the death penalty may be a deterrent. But it’s not, and never will be, for many, many others.”

Richardson also cited the inadequacies of the criminal justice system as a reason for his change of heart.

“More than 130 death row inmates have been exonerated in the past 10 years in this country, including four New Mexicans – a fact I cannot ignore,” Richardson said.

Similar bills are being discussed in Colorado, Illinois, Maryland, Montana, New Hampshire, Texas and Washington. All of these bills are currently on their way through the states’ Senate and House committees. This is a diverse group of states coming together in principle on the common ground of high cost.

Maryland democratic governor, Martin O’Malley, has been a long time advocate against the death penalty, citing a religious obligation to the practice. He recently spoke before the Maryland senate, arguing in favor of cutting the practice to cut costs.

O’Malley said that the death penalty is unnecessary when there are better and cheaper ways to reduce crime.

According to a 2008 study by the Urban Institute, a capital-eligible case in Maryland could cost the state approximately $3 million. That is $1.9 million more than it would cost for a case that was not capitally prosecuted. Prison costs were also more than three times more expensive in cases where capital punishment was sought.

Those in opposition to the new legislation argue that money should not impugn justice.

For State Senator Carolyn McGinn, R-Kansas, the decision to abolish the death penalty is about the costliness and necessity of capital punishment.

“Having this discussion in no way diminishes the pain and grief that victims and family members go through. Nor does it indicate that those on death row are not deserving of dying in prison,” McGinn said in a recently published opinion editorial. “It does cause one to ask whether lethal injection is worse than being forced to live life in isolation until death.”

The state of Utah was among those 11 states with proposed bills seeking to save money by avoiding the appellate swamp that accompanies a death sentence. However, the bill died in the House on March 12.

I love

2009-02-08T00:20:00.001-08:00

you too!

2009-01-23T23:05:00.000-08:00

There isn't anything wonderful about Provo that isn't affected.

This place reeks of inflated egos and over-priced thrift clothes.

"Use The Force Lu....uh...Everyone?"

2009-01-14T10:12:00.000-08:00

This is it, nerds. The Obi Wan Kenobi of video games.

A new brain-wave game takes a Star Wars spin, and offers the thrill of training yourself to "use the force." I mean, the force is in all of us, right? This game, which apparently will run for about $100 according to the Technorati Website, appeals heavily to my inner geek. Just attach the headset and focus on moving the ball up and down.

According to shinyshiny.tv, The "Star Wars Force Trainer" will use a wireless headset to monitor your brain waves. This circuitry will translate your brain waves into action, manipulating a ball to move how you want it to inside of a 10-inch tall tube.
So, let's channel our inner Jedi and start sharpening our skills!

Now all those hours I spent trying to choke someone with my mind will finally be validated. Though, in a, perhaps, less satisfying way.

http://technorati.com/posts/eKlUyEfGJiPHgIgCy4pO0P4sUT5J4VJouL3cfENhvMs%3D

Provo.Utah.

2009-01-06T10:16:00.000-08:00

It hasn't stopped snowing since yesterday morning. Maybe since before that, I can't remember. It's all one big, cold, snowy blur. I think my Provo experience is summed up best by this rap done by Howard Moon and Vince Noir:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9IjGNJPNyzU

The endlessness
Stretching on beyond
The human imagination
Desolation of the soul

Oh my God!

Ice floe
Nowhere to go
Ice floe
Nowhere to go
Lost in the blinding whiteness of the tundra

Whiteness
Nothingness
Endlessness
Death

The whiteness of the whale
Pales in comparison
Oh my God!
Who the hell are you?

I’m little Johnny Frostbite
Movin' around
Freezin’ you up
Freezin' you down

Like an icicle
Comin’ in your tent in the pink light scissor bite
Arctic death
Infinite night

They call me Tundra Boy
Because I move like an arctic lizzard
When the blizzard strikes
I disappear like a pipedream
All that’s left is the gleam
On a tent peg

Boosh, Boosh
Stronger than a moose
Don’t lock your doors
Or we’ll come through your roof top
Stop, look around
Take your mind off the floor
Because The Boosh is loose
And we’re a little bit raw!

Ice floe
Nowhere to go
Ice floe
Nowhere to go
Lost in the blinding whiteness of the tundra!

Provo is a cesspool.

Yea, verily.

With the occasional delightful restaurant or music venue, most of this city is oblivious to it's own worthlessness. The residents of this town have some vendetta against the University, while neglecting to consider that without BYU, Provo would just be another insignificant splotch on the map. At the same time, BYU students have a tendency to think they're pretty awesome, helping them to achieve a remarkable level of douchebaggery previously unknown to mankind.

I can't wait to graduate. Not because I don't like school. It's quite the contrary actually; I love taking classes and writing papers. I'm a nerd. I don't, however, love trying to navigate the sheets of slush and ice that this city calls sidewalks, or driving on the roads that never get salted or plowed. Provo is lazy, and I hate laziness when it affects me negatively!

But let's be positive for a moment. I have rather enjoyed the company since I've been in Utah. It's good to be back with old friends.

Story!:
I saw this pervert from my Study Abroad group yesterday. The one person I hoped to never see ever again was one of the first people I saw on my first day of school. I really don't like that guy. I saw him two feet away from me, so I ducked behind a shelf and walked briskly, and sneakily by, thus avoiding an unpleasant conversation that would most likely involve him trying to touch me in some way and me punching him in the tooth. I don't know if I can avoid him for a whole semester though. I mean, I might not always see him first! I'll have to be extra wary.

Last night, just saying goodbye.

2008-12-21T10:38:00.001-08:00

Well, Vienna, I guess this is it. We had some good times, but we knew it couldn't really last. Oh, come now, Vienna. You knew this day would come. It was just for the season, I was upfront with you from the beginning! Yes, you were very charming. Yes, you were the perfect gentleman. I know, I know, believe me. I love you too, Vienna, but...just....like a best friend, or a crazy old uncle that I visit on weekends who tells me daring tales of his adventures in the West Indies!

No, I know you're not my crazy old uncle. I'm sorry, perhaps that was an uncaring thing to say. But you know nothing you can say will change my plans, Vienna. You see, I'm in love.

Yes with someone else, and he's waiting for me.

Yes, he's charming. Even more charming than all of your Christmas Markets combined. Yes, and handsome. More handsome than any of your Hapsburgs or your palaces. Oh, yes, very classy. Classier than the Stadt Oper and not nearly as snooty.

Yes he's very good to me. I promise.

Vienna, you know I could never forget you! All of our smokey nights in cafés and bars filled with music. All of the nights we spent curled up on an old couch watching B movies with our friends!

Yes, these last few days have been magical, and I'll never forget them. Laughing out loud watching the old, black and white movies starring Carey Grant playing at the Film Museum, walking briskly through the December elements and admiring the Christmas lights adorning the buildings on every block.

You've got European charm, Vienna, but my heart is in America. Of course, I'll leave a bit of myself with you as well. Someday I'll come back for it, I promise. This isn't goodbye forever, just for now.

Yes, you can come with me to the airport in the morning if you'd like. But I won't kiss you at the gate! Ok, well, maybe a little one. On the cheek. But don't hold your breath.

Well, I guess I'll see you in the morning then. Yes, goodnight.

Oh...and Vienna, I...I'll miss you.

Bis Morgen. Tschuss.

Dublin, London, Budapest

2008-11-21T03:15:00.000-08:00

Dublin was mildly cold and rainy, but it what it lacked in pleasing weather it made up for with pleasing people! I've never met such friendly people, it's true! Let's see...what did we do...
We took double decker busses all over the city/countryside. We hiked to the cliffs where the browning land meets the grey cloudy ocean. We stood by the cliffs which over looked a lighthouse and some ominous looking shoreline. Very beautiful. I mean, I'm terrified of the ocean in general, but it looks really gorgeous from far away.
We then stood around in the rain while we waited for the bus some more...ugh. Finally we hopped on and headed towards the smallest little castle in the world. It was closed for tours by the time we arrived (Dublin isn't nearly as efficient as Vienna when it comes to public transport) but the gift shop was open! and I found some information on a family name printed on the back of some coasters. OH YEAH! Family History!
The only other things I remember about Dublin was that the food was actually spicy (unlike in freaking Vienna) and we ate a lot of cheap candy. Oh! And we saw Quantum of Solace before any of you suckers in America. HA!

Then off to London...only a 2 hour plane ride? Yes, please.

London is amazing. I don't care who hears me say it! So many people bustling about, so many warning signs everywhere you turn "Please, mind the gap" "please, stand carefully on the escalator" "Walk don't run"--so strange, but oh, so helpful! Not a one of us was injured!
The first day was mostly waisted due to the ridiculous group mentality of absolutely no one wanted to make any stinking decisions. We saw the London Tower, London Bridge, Tower Bridge, walked all over the city. We went to Camden Market where we shopped and looked at things and ate delicious organic vegan foods. Mmm...healthy! Oh...and then I bought a sweet vest and my wedding dress at a thrift store. It was pretty rad. Radical! Then Michelle and I exploded away from the group and met my friend David for crépes. My first crépe experience was DELICIOUS. I had a savory crépe, spinach and cheese, and it made my stomach really happy. Then David walked around the town with us, telling us interesting facts about the history of the buildings/city. Very enlightening. We saw Big Ben, Parliament, Trafalga Square, the London Eye, etc. Very cool.

The next day Michelle and I ran away from everyone and hit the city in the FACE! FISTS TO THE FACES! Awesome. We ran around getting free tourist things, back to Camden for lunches (mmmm boy!), to Foyles Bookshop (HUGE-MONGOUS) for some hot chocolate and light book-perusing, and then we poppe by the Tate Modern art museum while we waited for the time to pass. Then we saw Les Misérables, which was very well done and very enjoyable. I'd say it was a successful day.

Day three: Final day=sad pandas. We ran around like mad women! Here and there! To a castle that we couldn't find all the way to the Winston Churchill Museum/War Cabinet Rooms. We saw the Globe Theater, Millenium Bridge, We ate a LOT of really delicious Indian foods- oh yes! And we wandered around like we usually do. I'm sure I'm leaving something out, but oh well.
Then we had to make it back to the airport to fly back to Vienna. I won't lie. We really almost missed it. 5 minutes later and we would've been sleeping in an airport. It sucked. Running through the airport with a 50 lb backpack, trying not to look too worried (have to save some face, right?) It was miserable. BUT, we made it! Then I fought the urge to sleep hard on the plane and finished a book: Water for Elephants, and started a new book: The Virgin Suicides. Both are very good, FYI.

Then I was in Vienna for a grand total of four days before we jumped on a train for Budapest. Ridiculous. Also I was getting really sick. And that was awful. I'll have you know that I successfully fought the germs. Immune System! Yeah!
Buda. Pest. In retrospect it wasn't as awful as I thought it was at the time. It was actually pretty cool, I suppose--when I wasn't fearing for my life on the dark city streets lined with crazy people. I saw a street fight! They weren't using their hands at all though...it was strange. Just a bunch of 15-16 year olds kicking each other in the face and stuff...bizarre.
We went to a casino, watched our friend try to play the slots, stared blankly at the screen, and had no idea what it was saying to us in Hungarian, so we left.
Basically, Hungary was a lot of walking around.

Also, a select few of us gathered in my hotel room to watch Sweeney Todd. It seemed appropriate and we ate chocolate. Yum.

We took an all-day tour on Saturday that made me hate my life but we got to see a lot of the city. We even took a boat tour from the Danube. OH YEAH.

Michelle, Josef and I crawled into a warm café for some hot chocolate and cakes, and we talked for hours, I knitted and we ate food. It was a nice last day in Budapest.

Then we FINALLY got on the train to go home.

Now I'm in Vienna until the 28th, when I will be heading to Germany. YES!

Until then

-Emily

Vienna Rockin' and Rollin'

2008-10-19T11:32:00.000-07:00

Played my first legit concert in Vienna this past Thursday. This is a new song I've written since being in Vienna. I wish the quality of the video wasn't so awful, but it's way better than nothing, and if you hate it then I hope your computer explodes.

25 years in that house down on Florissant
we climbed the trees, we built our fortresses
on tin can stilts we walked home.

Then 7 more years in different apartments
I watched them change as we grew older
I should've seen it coming but I'm so far away

Now I'm crying on the cold steps of a foreign apartment
about something happening seven hours away
accidentally dressed for a shotgun funeral
in hysterical German I mumbled your name

And it's been raining so much here
lately I feel like an actress
walking terrible circles on this one-way stage
All the sadness we run from is everywhere we go
they were right you know, we can't run away

There's a candle burning for you in St. Wolfgang's
I prayed to you, I hope God wasn't angry
I just wanted to say goodbye

And it's burning tonight, and it'll burn on tomorrow
a $1.20 for all of my sorrow
I just hope you find yourself in her arms tonight

-Emily

Wien! Italien!

2008-10-13T01:56:00.000-07:00

I am so far behind in this blogging endeavor that I cannot catch up. All of my important pictures from the trip so far are on Facebook, though. For you old folks who don’t have an account, I will show you how to access the pictures.

But this blog will be about ITALY.

I just got back from a week in Italy. Between Florence and Venice, I have to say it might have been one of the best weeks of my life. Except of course for the fact that I had the song, “When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie that’s amore…” stuck in my head the entire time.

The trip started with a 13-hour over-night train ride from Vienna to Florence. For some reason the compartment I would be sleeping in became the party compartment, and 13+ people managed to cram themselves into our little six-person car; packed like sardines in a tin box. It was…festive.

At 7:00 a.m. we arrived in Florence and then walked lost and aimlessly around the city looking for our hotel. Once we found the hotel we discovered the owner had not prepared her establishment properly for our decent and so she pawned us off on some youth hostel down the street. I wasn’t upset though. The hotel looked like it might have been infested with some sort of rodent and the hostel was clean and orderly. Not to mention I got a room in a loft with a window that looked over the rooftops of Florence.

Of course we had a tour of the city, most of which I didn’t hear, but it was nice to get some kind of idea of the layout of the city before they set us loose to get lost for hours.
`My first day in Florence consisted of walking around a lot, eating extremely over-priced Gelato, and eating some of the best pizza and Gnocchi I have ever eaten in my entire life. But when night fell the Italian magic truly began.

At about 8:00 a group of us hit the dark streets of Florence. It didn’t take us long to discover my favorite thing: a big, lit-up carousel calling to me. We rode that thing into the ground.

Afterwards we walked over to an outdoor “museum” of replicas of famous statues and had a bit of fun trying to replicate the poses ourselves. It was probably more than a little obnoxious, but I enjoyed every minute of it. Then we stopped for a while and listened to a man perform classic American music by artists such as Carol King, Paul Simon and Eric Clapton, He was talented, but not awesome, so we walked over to one of the bridges and talked there for a while before heading back to the hostel. It was wonderful.

My second day in Florence included more delicious pastries, pizza and pasta, of course. But the best part of today was going to the Academy Museum to see Michelangelo’s “David.” I didn’t really know what to expect; I certainly wasn’t prepared for the immensity of the piece. When you walk into the museum you are met with some normal-sized statues including The Rape of the Sabine Woman, which is a very impressive piece as well, but then you exit that room and turn into the next room, and the first thing you see in the distance in this giant, amazing statue. I won’t lie, it took my breath away to see the David. I never thought it would be something I’d see except for in photographs, and I was ready to accept that, but after having seen it, I am so glad I waited the hour in line and paid the 10 euros to go inside. I would pay 30 euros and wait all day to see it again. Oh, and I would pay 30 euros to understand what they were really trying to say with this sign...

An explanation for the next picture: Our tour guide told us that when you come to Florence, you touch the nose of the pig statue to give you good luck and to bring you back to Venice. I misheard her, and thought she said you had to touch your nose to the pig...

Train to Venice. Arrived in Venice. Found our hotel with the slogan “Second alley to the left after the train station!” And then we ventured out to find dinner, which ended up being mediocre and overpriced. But the Gelato was much more reasonable. It was so cheap in fact, that my friends and I had two cones before the night was over.

VENICE PICS

Day two in Venice was the paramount Italian experience, I think. I stopped by St. Marcus’s and appreciated the immaculately decorated Gothic architecture, explored a giant ship, did some shopping, walked along the smelly canals all over the city and avoided the shameless staring of Italian men. Which reminds me, I really enjoy the word “bella,” and I might move to Italy just to hear waiters and street merchants address me as such every day.
Anyway, by the end of the night I had seen a seagull kill and eat a pigeon, and I had taken a Gondola ride through the canals as the sun set . As my friend Joseph would say, “We took a Gondola ride under the Venetian star!” The night skies aren’t very ideal for star gazing. Later that night after a healthy dose of triple scoop Gelato, I watched The Sting, realized once more that it bores me to tears, and fell asleep at midnight.

SHIP, GONDOLA

I woke up at 5:45 the next morning and met some friends to sit on the dock at the gates of Venice to watch the sunrise. By 7:30 the sun had come up over the ocean and lit up the skyline. It was absolutely beautiful and something that I would like to experience again before I die. The rest of the day my friends and I spent “island hopping.” We took the waterbus to Moreno to see a glass-blowing demonstration and buy some authentic Moreno mementos. Then we took the waterbus to another island to climb a bell tower that provides and overview of Venice. It was really beautiful, and the weather was amazing. We wore t-shirts for the whole trip.

Right before the train left, I bought myself a Cannoli. I don’t think I could’ve lived with myself if I would’ve left Italy without eating an authentic Cannoli. At least, I couldn’t have ever looked Michelle in the face again.

So. Here I am back in Vienna. Blogs will be much less intense and much more frequent from now on, I promise.

Um...dudes...

2008-09-15T02:21:00.000-07:00

I'm alive.
The internet here is CaCa and my computer funkioniert nicht. It takes a lot of effort and the kindness and patients of others for me to be able to blog this little bit. So, if you read my blog, please leave me a comment so I know I'm not all alone out here in the Blogworld.

I have a lot to tell you all; I've had several adventures. But I'll have to do that later. I'll probably go to some inernet cafe and barter for enough computer-time with the blood of my my unborn children.

I miss you all. Talk to me please :)

Vienna is wunderbar!

"He's got the crazy legs!"

2008-09-09T02:31:00.000-07:00

Crazy best last weekend of my life in America.

Friday night was "last night" for all my friends. Braden, Michelle and I went out to eat at Cunetto's: an authentically delicious Italian restaurant in the mob-hustling part of St. Louis known as The Hill.

Needless to say, it was delicious, and we left with buckets of leftovers.

Following dinner we stood mesmerized in front of a fountian in the Central West End, following which we met Andy and Charlie at Bailey's Chocolate Bar for some deserty goodness.

Saturday was the Avett Brothers in Carbondale, Illinois. It was worth the terrifying 3 hour-back country road-getting lost that happened on the way there. It was the best concert of my life. The way Seth Avett moves in his legs is awe-inspiring.

Sunday we had the Koebbe family birthday celebration at my house, and I stayed up really late and finished packing, etc. Then I fell asleep and four hours later I woke up to go to the airport.

I arrived in D.C. for my six-hour layover waiting for the connecting flight to Vienna. Zack met me at the airport and proceeded to give me a whirlwind walking tour of our nations fine capitol! Here are some pictures, in case you don't believe me.
Washington Monument, duh.

This is where it all happens. Or doesn't happen, as it were... The Capitol Building! (Sorry I didn't rotate it so it wouldn't be sideways)

I don't know who this is, but he was surrounded by lions.

It doesn't matter if you're from D.C.; when you're holding a map you always look like a tourist.

Then we went to the Museum of Natural History where we were charged at by this giant elephant:

The lady at the security counter really liked my necklace.

My last meal in America was Red Robin. Fitting? Pictures:

Shameless facebook shoe picture:

Singing:

Then, after a long, sleepless flight over an ocean, I watched the sunrise over Europe as I flew over France, and I thought about how jet-lagged I was (I still am).

Here's my hotel room in Vienna:

I'll post more later. Right now I need to go walk around to keep myself from falling asleep too early. I've been awake for 24 hours, but the rules of avoiding jet-lag are not sleeping until the night times. Boo.

Ludo: In space

2008-09-03T09:00:00.001-07:00

This is just a random post to share something with you all. Nothing new has happened... I just want you to love these boys as much as I do:

They are adorable.

Carny's, Hot Dog Buns and The Atomic Cowboy

2008-09-01T10:42:00.000-07:00

Michelle and I went to an awesomely lame carnival last night. I didn't plan for carnival rides, so I was still in my Sunday best. Dress and heels=awkward Tilt-A Whirl moments. But it was fabulous; carnival rides and getting hit on by toothless carnies will never get old!

Also, whenever Michelle and I are together we meet the most random people. We don't go out of our way, mind you, they seem to be drawn to us. Last night we met a man, who, after he got off work at Gordman's, decide that he frantically needed some licorice from the Carnival. He asked Michelle and I to direct him to the nearest licorice location. Unsure if that even existed at the shoddy little "Maple Days" carnival, we pointed him to the oily food trailers. On his way back to his car he passed us holding a lone hot dog bun. He then stopped to explain that he had a McDonald's cheese sandwich and coleslaw in the car already, but he really had a hankering for some licorice. When he saw the fair he thought he could buy some, but turns out the only thing they had in the same food group was a $3 cotton candy. Since he was borderline diabetic he chose to get the hot dog bun instead. I told him that he made the safest choice.

Then Michelle's friend & friend's boyfriend met up with us, and we rode the Tilt-A-Whirl once more (there's way more whirling when you have more than two people in the car.), and then Michelle and I decided to ride the worst ride ever: The Ferris Wheel with spinny-egg-shaped cars that twirl and twirl and you're upside down, and it jostles you, and it's AWFUL!

The crazy Carny kept us on for two rounds of that torture. I think he thought I was being silly when I screamed "Will barf, not good!" as we passed him one round. Needless to say I almost passed out and Michelle had to drive home. Haha.

It was ultimately an awesome night. Today I will hopefully go to Japanese Fest at the Botanical Gardens. Sumo Wrestling and a Kimono fashion shows are only hours away...

Seeing Zack in our Nation's capitol is only 6 days away. Being in Austria, only seven.

Also: I ran into an old, old Ludo friend at a bar in the city called the Atomic Cowboy. It's so great to be able to talk about really embarrassing things that happened to us around Ludo and all those bands. I love reminiscing.

I love...weird carnivals too.

The early bird gets the headache.

2008-08-29T04:27:00.000-07:00

Why am I awake? It's far too early. 6:00 a.m. shouldn't even register on clocks. It's a God-forsaken time of day.

Could it be that my cat who decided to sleep in my room last night also decided to request I let her out (by meow-ing LOUDLY) at six? No, that can't be it... She always does that and I always go back to sleep...

Well, maybe it's because 2 seconds after that, my phone decided to get one bar of coverage in my concrete, basement, cave-bedroom and allowed half of a text message through. A text message that reminded me first thing in the morning about something that, last night, made me want to throw up while simultaneously punching people in the face. But, it's not your fault, rogue-texter, that the message didn't come through last night when it was sent. Let's blame the source of the whirly-twirly angry guts instead, OK?

My brain hurts. And my feelings hurt. And I am incapable of "packing lightly".

I need a hug, damnit.

Visas, Apple Beverages, ferrets and Chipotle

2008-08-21T19:20:00.000-07:00

I FINALLY got through to the Austrian Consulate yesterday. All of the nerve-wrecking hold-ups were quickly boiled down to their natural molecular state: One big fat misunderstanding. Long story short and much less tedious: I will be holding a Visa in my hands within the next three business days.

Also, I was able to register for my international health care today and printed off my insurance card, I looked into Euro Rail passes and I started eliminating unnecessary shoes from my "to pack" pile. I've got it down to nine pair. It's going to be hard to skim any more off that list without denying myself some necessary fashion.

Fashion rhymes with passion...Mangoes are a passion fruit...apples are not. But, speaking of apples, I found the next best thing to an Apple Beer! Apple Izzies are DELICIOUS.

Also, lately I've been concerned with the survival of one Sammy the Ferret. Jared hasn't been around at all really to take care of her this summer. I'm afraid that when I leave Sammy will follow in the footsteps of the rodent we loved before her. I'm talking of course about our dear mouse, Gus Gus, who died silently in his sleep of Carbon Monoxide poisoning. He was our unintentional little yellow canary. Of course I don't mean I think Sammy will also die of CO poisoning, but I think death may be in the future, though I hate to think so. I sure love that ferret.

And in closing, let me just say, that Chipotle is 5,000 times better than Qdoba. Some may argue that they are the same, or the Qdoba is superior, but the impact on my wallet and my overall burrito-satisfaction beg to differ.

Fidgety.

2008-08-13T20:04:00.000-07:00

Three more weeks and five days.

I'm panicking because I'm realizing now that my German has deteriorated to an all time low. To rectify this I've been thinking all of my thoughts in German and, admittedly, I've been talking to myself in German out loud (to practice pronunciation!) since my parents went to sleep.

Also, I kind of feel like everything is being crammed into these last few weeks. All of the stress and damage I've managed to avoid all summer now has to be taken care of, some of which is my fault, and I need wrap all of this up as soon as possible so I can get on that plane free of emotional or financial baggage. Speaking of getting on a plane, does anyone know the secret to getting the Austrian Consulate to return a phone call or to simply answer a question without having to take a message?

A few things to look forward to before I leave the country:

*Resin party. Let's make some awesome jewelry, Michelle.
*Getting my Visa. It will relieve a lot of tension to hold that in my hands.
*A six hour layover in Virginia. It will be good to spend time with an old friend before I'm flying over that ocean.

Oh, and someone please empathize with my overwhelming desire to pack my suitcases now, even though I know I'll need those things before I leave, ha ha.

Nervous!

Breakfast Club

2008-08-05T21:05:00.000-07:00

All that title means is I watched The Breakfast Club tonight and I will never regret it. Not once!

My parents went to Tennessee for a few days this week, which means I am all alone in a house in the middle of the dark, creepy woods. This meant waking up at 4 a.m. and sitting in my bed for an hour last night, terrified that there was a strange man in my house intent on bludgeoning me to death.
Thankfully, I got over my irrational fear last night, and at this time I'm suffering from another thought that provokes discontent. And that is, by "home alone" what I mean is: at home with my dog, cat and ferret. I've been trying to entertain myself by talking to them: saying ridiculous things to them in strange voices, but the only responses I've received have been blank stares. Oh, and my cat tried to bite me once.
I have been alone in a house with only animals about 17 too many times this summer. I refuse to become a 21 year old spinster, cat lady.

Also, reason #537 why I miss Provo tonight: I would murder someone for an Apple Beer.

Infinite moments

2008-07-26T15:12:00.000-07:00

We called ahead. We drove to Euclid records. We searched vigorously and found two copies; seemingly the only two copies in the store!

Sitting in the car, opening the record for the first time. Buying it on vinyl was worth it just for the experience of the album art.

Sitting in silence on Michelle's floor; me with pigtails in my hair and Michelle in her green shorts, listening intently to The Second Gleam on vinyl.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Running barefoot in a torrential down-pour for four city blocks in the middle of St. Louis; we had to get from Cicero's to the Tivoli! We had to make the midnight movie! American Psyco was the late-night picture. We arrived soaking wet, looking as if we'd just gone swimming in our little skirts and black dresses. The tickets were purchased, and we used paper towels to dry our feet and legs before we sat down in the old theatre. I wasn't as cold as I thought I was going to be.
American Psyco: I'd never seen it before. I didn't know what to expect. I probably shouldn't have laughed when he talked about eating people's brains.

Then after some 3 a.m. Avett Brothers video stalking, we curled up in our dry clothes and went to sleep.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This summer has been the Summer of Avett Brothers and picnics...and Ted Drewes frozen custard, haha. (I thought of adding "cupcakes" to that list, but there haven't been enough cupcakes to warrant the addition. At least not yet...)

And can I just say that I love running into that adorable boy from Webster? What a fabulous beard.

In other news: I don't blog often enough. But I need to get into the habit before I jet off to Vienna in 44 days. So I'll be on here more often.

Also: I MISS YOU, PROVO FRIENDS.

Left on Laura, Left of Lisa

2008-06-30T20:44:00.001-07:00

Avetts magic.

Recycled Air

2008-05-21T12:25:00.000-07:00

Flying always reminds me of that Postal Service song, you know, Recycled Air:

"I watch the patchwork farms slow fade into the ocean's arms
from here release your cares
the stale taste of recycled air."

Though, the only parts about that song that I connect to are seeing the patchwork of America pass by underneath me and being forced to breath airplane air. Gross. The rest of my experience is trying to fall asleep without destroying my neck, and trying to endure the take off, turbulence, and landing experiences without throwing up the Wheat and Cheddar crackers they gave me as my in-flight snack. I really think that my flight to and from Vienna is going to be monstrous. Also, I experience anxiety every time I fly from a place. it doesn't matter where, or where I'm going. If I'm agitated before flying back to Utah for a 2 day stay, how insane am I going to feel before I leave for Europe? It's going to be a mess.

Anyway, Provo, I'm back. At lease until Thursday night, I guess. I don't really know any specifics. I have no obligations. I'm a fly by the seat of my pants kind of girl.

An Avett Miracle

2008-05-09T09:50:00.000-07:00

19 hours straight from Utah to Missouri landed my parents and I in our Foristell driveway at 9:30 Central Time. We surprised my brother (and two trashcans full of beer cans and tables covered in something sticky and suspiciously alcoholic in nature) and then swiftly unpacked my crap from the back of the rented van. We returned the van to the Hertz dealer before the "24 hour deadline" had passed, meaning we only had to pay for one day of renting (huzzah) and my dad was pleased.

Then I called Michelle. I would in fact be able to go see the Avett Brothers that night. Despite being trapped in Utah with a broken car for two days longer than anticipated, and despite the arduous journey straight across country with two "older people" one of whom has terrible knees, we made it. And I even had time to clean out my room to prepare for the swift descent of my moving all of my belongings back home.

The Avett brothers are now officially my favorite band to see live. Michelle and I arrived to find our seats, third row center. We were practically on the freaking stage. And they had so much unbelievable energy...and no one was standing! That is why I hate seated concerts! I had so much energy building up inside me during the show that I'm afraid I would've exploded had I not been able to share it with Michelle through understanding glances and by squirming rhythmically in my seat.

FINALLY at the last song, before the encore, everyone stood up to sing along to some la la di da's, and continued to stand and stomp and clap, and then inevitably resume la di da-ing until the Avetts came back on stage and blew my mind with a song I'd never heard before, "Talkin' Blues" and then a couple others. The encore was amazing and we stomped and danced and sang along unabashedly.

My only regret about the concert was that there was hardly enough twirling and stomping. Not enough to meet my expectations and desires, and certainly not enough to meet the requirements of the music. Damn lazy drunken St. Louis crowds!

But we will be seeing them in Columbia next month. And there will be dancing. Oh, will there be. I want to jump and scream along to Talk on Indolence, and sway and cry during Find My Love.

The guy in front of me took this video of one of the best songs off of the Avett's new album: Emotionalism. It's called "Ballad of Love and Hate" and it is my favorite right now. Check it out, and then go buy the album. I love it. Love.

What?

2008-04-16T17:23:00.000-07:00

Maybe it's because I've reached my point of explosion; the stress level that has me fighting back the most vulgar of all swears at any given moment of the day, but I am annoyed by something.

Well, currently I'm annoyed by most things, but above all of these things is this: Today I received a "suggested friend addition" on Facebook. Someone that I barely know, "suggested" that I add someone who I don't know at all.

Really?

Why. I don't care about half of the people that I'm already obligatory "friends" with on Facebook. So why should I add someone who I care equally less about? And who would presume to tell me that I should be friends with someone?

People. What a bunch of bastards.

Also, I'm frustrated because I want to have time to write Braden back right now, and I don't have time to respond properly.
I need to buy a plane ticket, but I'm waiting on someone to tell me when he/she wants to fly to London, or if we're even still doing that before my trip. Maybe I should just meet her in Australia.

wah wah wah. Stop complaining, Emily.
Ok. Sigh.

(I need to punch something)

Ssssmokin.....

2008-03-14T13:20:00.001-07:00

My mom caught Jared smoking today, so that's the buzz flying 'round the Hudson house this evening. I found out from my dad who told me that Jared was "out." "Personally," I told him, "I think that's a bit of an overreaction."
He's 19, old enough to smoke, and old enough to make that decision. Also, he's old enough to decide what's important to him, and if smoking, drinking and partying are at the top of his list of priorities right now, then there's not much we can do about it.
It's like I told my dad: He's been raised with moral guidelines and is capable of making his own decisions according to his agency and belief system.

I know that my dad smoked and did other things like that when he was Jared's age, which isn't an excuse for Jared, or an excuse for my dad, but it should at least give him some context of understanding, so I reminded him of that.

Really, I just feel sorry for Jared. Because I know what it's like to walk into my parent's house once the proverbial "shit" has hit the proverbial "fan."

After all, I got caught breaking and entering when I was 16. That sucked.

But the irony is, even though I committed a felony, I know Jared will probably get into more trouble than I did.

But that's the way it goes I guess. C'est la vie.

Post Script: While I was looking for smoking pictures I found this:

And it scares me. A lot.

Ugandan Leaders Sign Peace Treaty with LRA Rebels

2008-02-28T10:46:00.000-08:00

According to an article by the Associated Press, Ugandan Government officials have signed a cease-fire with representatives of the Lord's Resistance Army on Friday.

The war between the rebels and the government that has been raging for nearly two decades since President Yoweri Museveni took power, might finally be coming to an end.

The fighting was brought to the attention of the world due to the LRA's abduction of tens of thousands of children; turning the boys into fighters and the girls into sex slaves.

For the full article go to: http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/U/UGANDA_REBELS?SITE=MAFAL&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT

Begging for the sun, And a mid-missouri winter

2008-02-25T21:23:00.000-08:00

So, I got the new Ludo album in the mail today, and I won't lie, there are things about it that I'm not completely blown away by, but, like I would in any good relationship, I will give those things understanding and patience. And soon my understanding will grow to respect, and my respect to love. I have, however been favoring several of the songs over the others. Namely, Topeka, which I have been listening to on repeat for about the last four hours. If my dad were here I'm sure he'd tell me, "you know, Emily, those things are only designed to work so many times." And I would ignore him, just like I always did.

In my humble opinion it is the best song on the album. It is moving and emotional, and it manages to touch some sore spots, which I'm sure are fairly universal.

To me this song is about not knowing how to deal with all of the broken things in your mind, and masking the need to run away in the phrase "getting out of town." Really, it is a song about naively thinking you can escape the past by moving towards the future.

This song makes me feel restless and desperately hopeful.

I hope you enjoy...but then again, I really don't care if you don't. :)

04 Topeka.mp3

"from here on out you can count on all things going the way they must've from the start"

"from my socks to my pocket-T"

2008-02-22T20:58:00.000-08:00

03 Hum Along.mp3

Maybe you'd be kidnapped by pirates/And they would take you to their hideout/As pirates often do/But I'd find the secret map/And I would vigilante-bushwhack/Through the jungles of Peru
Those were the lyrics that won my heart. After that it was no contest who my favorite local band would be: Ludo.

Sometimes, when I'm feeling particularly nostalgic, I want to lock Ludo up in my pocket and take them out every once in a while to remember how things used to be. Then, in times like these, I want to tell everyone how amazing and destined for stardom they are.

http://www.riverfronttimes.com/2008-02-20/news/land-of-ludo/

I think what makes me miss St. Louis the most, is being with my friends in those smoky dives, dancing while my eardrums deteriorated, selling merch for the bands and laughing at all the drunks (who were usually my friends).

I do miss the way it felt to drive into the city at night with my cousin or my friends, find a parking place, walking into the venue with the huge bouncers with handlebar mustaches and/or gotees, moving past the bar, and up to the stage, and recognizing almost all of the faces of the "crowd" who came to support the same local bands that I loved.

I loved the late after-show parties at the diners with the bands, mostly Ludo and Amsterband. And the way-past-curfew-telling-my-parents-Courtney-was-driving, hahaha. The two years I spent with Ludo were the best two years of my life so far. Well worth the driving tickets, the gas money and the time spent I must say.

I miss the Ludo friends and the Amsterband friends. I miss the people that I used to see at least once a month. I miss enjoying music on the same level with them, and understanding what it meant to each of us to be there and be apart of whatever was happening. I don't think we ever really knew what it was, but it was intoxicating.

Sometimes when you meet people you can just tell that they are going to be important to you. When I saw my first Ludo show in March of 2004, I knew that I was supposed to be there. But I had no idea I would still be ranting and raving about them three years later. Maybe it's a sign of my inability to let go of the past. Or, maybe it's because I love them so much. Either way, people are starting to finally notice Ludo, and I couldn't be more proud of any group of friends.

Also, I had a dream last night that my CD came in the mail, and I was SO excited about it. I couldn't stop listening to it, so I take that as a premonition.

When you float like a cannonball

2008-02-14T10:12:00.001-08:00

Seriously, folks, it's Valentine's Day. Already I have eaten an inordinate amount of sweet things. Mmm...muffins.

I'm not really sure why people use this day as an excuse to be really openly depressed about something that most people don't have any control over. I mean, I'm still single every other day of the year. So can you tell me one more time why I should feel bad about that ever, much less feel worse about it today? The only perks I can see about this holiday are all of the free cookies, brownies and muffins. Roses come from the elders quorum, Valentine's cards come from the roommates, and there are plenty of parties to choose from--I hear the Hollywood House is having a party for all you lonely Provoans, which we all know means that if you were looking for some sexy action on this Day of Love, it will be plenty available.

So, there you have it. You don't have to be dating someone to enjoy the perks of this commercialized holiday! In fact, I would suggest that being single makes the day far more enjoyable. No expectations, no obligations, no commitments; heaven forbid! Am I right?

So, let's put our heavy hearts and lonely arms aside for this one day, and instead of a pity party, let us celebrate the fact that one of the best parts about this life is still to come! It's something to look forward to, really.

Also, my friend from work is going to be in London next fall while I'm in Vienna! I am going to go there and meet Noel Fielding--that cockney minx.

Turmoil of Hope

2008-02-13T08:11:00.000-08:00

Not to be confused with a best-selling book by a presidential hopeful, this blog will not discuss anything having to do with America. Unless, of course you consider the fact that I am an American, and that some of the freedoms that cause my current conflict of emotions are almost exclusively American. In which case you are an existential bastard.

The turmoil of hope is a struggle in the sticky web of "what if's." It's a mental road block, a self-destructive, life-halting rut that makes progression forwards, and even stepping backwards, impossible. I never thought I'd see the day when the powers working against our happiness and salvation would use the blessing of hope to destroy us.

The turmoil of hope is looking down at the hand of cards you are holding, and, being dissatisfied, or hoping for a better hand to come along, continually passing your turn, watching the rest of the world move on without you.

I have been passing my turn for a year and a half.

With the occasional play, I've won some hands, but I've lost a disproportionate amount more by refusing to participate for fear that my decision wold lose me something that I've wanted, or perchance send me spiraling out of control down some destructive path. And, consumed with a desire to have my path validated, I have been sitting completely still in the darkness waiting for a revelatory light to show me the way I should go.
But, I began to realize yesterday, and I am still figuring this out, mind you, that you can't just sit in the darkness waiting for the way to be made known. You just have to move.
Moving any direction in the darkness is more productive than sitting in it.

Another hard lesson to learn, is that you can't play your cards strategically in order to make other people play the card you want them to play. Manipulation is not part of the game. The free agency of others is more fair than most of us selfish beings are comfortable with, I think, but something we need to accept nonetheless.

So, my realization comes down to this: You can't play cards based on the hand you might be getting in a year, a month, a week, or twenty minutes from now. You can't pass up opportunities just in case something better comes your way. All we can do is, as a famous hippie once put it, "live in the now."

And living in the "now," looking down at the cards I am currently holding, not making any room for "maybe's" or those damned "what-if's," I can see that my cards are saying, "VIENNA."

So I'll play the Vienna game. I finished my application and am applying for grants and scholarships. I am looking into power adapters and a passport. And it feels ok.

So, I'm not waiting around and stagnating like a packet of crisps on the roof, I'm moving forward with an eye out for the next hand of cards. And if something happens to me tomorrow, and my cards change, then I should go where that hand takes me. Meaning, tomorrow if someone introduces a new card into my deck, and my cards no longer say Vienna, but rather something different, then I will forsake Vienna for the new way.

I think that living moment to moment, constantly moving out further into the darkness is the only way to allow for guidance.

Don't let yourself be bogged down with the hope for something better than you have now. Don't bet your next hand on the agency of others. Just look at the cards you are holding, and do what is best for you in the moment.

Never let yourself become too attached to your current state. This life ebbs violently and is always shifting.

Universally uncomfortable.

2008-02-08T11:21:00.000-08:00

I find some people to be extremely frustrating for no apparent reason. To be honest, I think the fact that there's no logical reason for me to be uncomfortable is what causes my greatest distress.
For example, there's a guy in my Comms 412 class who I always have really awkward eye-contact with. He'll turn around in his chair and look at me, so, reluctantly, I meet his gaze. But he never says anything! And his face is always completely expressionless! Honestly, I can't tell if he's disgusted with me, if he thinks he might know me, if he's judging how awesome I am by my wicked fashion sense, if he thinks I'm a babe, or if he's plotting my demise. I'm a rather irrationally paranoid person, so I tend to lean toward the latter. How is one supposed to react to such a social faux pas? I really just want to poke him in the face, but I realize that could be potentially even more awkward.
Another explanation for my discomfort at this is that I've been fairly short-tempered these past couple of weeks due to a lack of sleep thanks to my stressful professional life and a broken back (curse you, kick-boxing!).

But whatever.

Can I share a working theory with you? I was inspired to do a study on this topic as I noticed a strange phenomenon in one of my classes Sophomore year, and I've been gathering data for about...oh two years now of classes at BYU. The phenomenon (which is more common than I previously knew) is this: every single douche bag in any given classroom will be able to find another douche bag, and sit by that person. Sometimes there are more than two of them in a class, and they all morph together into a strange, obnoxious pod of sorts. Then, with confidence found in their newly combined powers, they will commence making unnecessary and obvious comments about the topic at hand, and then proceed to laugh either pretentiously or boisterously. I think that if you'll observe the students in your classrooms, you will see that I'm on to something here.

In closing, there was a girl who looked EXACTLY like Maeby Fünke in the JFSB Family History lab yesterday. I looked over at her three times to make sure it wasn't really her, and I think I made her uncomfortable.
Oh well, there's a lot of that going around lately.

I'm a Go-Getter guy with a gun on my hip!

2008-02-07T07:09:00.000-08:00

This is one of the big reasons why Ludo will now and forever have my allegiance.
I mean....SERIOUSLY.
Can we build an igloo guys? I'd be willing to put in the time.

Does this song remind you all of Cinnamon Tree? Or is that just me?

haha, Andrew-"We should get our instruments and play a song in there"
Tim F- "Done."

"I think we broke his brain!"

2008-02-02T08:49:00.000-08:00

I have the stunning ability to break people's brains. I think it's my real-life super power.

So I'm writing a story on "murderabilia," and it's coming along swimmingly. I just have to call Mr. Murder Auction today and get his side of the story. This guy really thinks that it's morally OK to collect and sell items belonging to serial killers. Things such as chunks of hair, bodily fluids, fingernails, items of clothing, artifacts from their homes, from their cars, letters, and "artwork." Mr. Murder's obsession started as a child when he saw Helter Skelter and his parents ENCOURAGED him to write Charles Manson in prison!!! What kind of parents do that? Now he writes to all kinds of high-profile killers in jail and sells their letters/art that they send him. He's collected a pieces of tombtones, and all that jazz. It's creepy, really.

It's all for real, guys.

www.murderauction.com
www.daisyseven.com

YIKES.

Pools of sorrow waves of joy are drifting through my open mind, possessing and caressing me

2008-01-26T19:01:00.003-08:00

Images of broken light which
dance before me like a million eyes
That call me on and on across the universe
Thoughts meander like a
restless wind inside a letter box
they tumble blindly as
they make their way across the universe

So, today was filled with things that I've wanted to do for a little while. One of those things being not waking up at 3:30 in the morning, another was getting to sleep in past 7:00, another of those things was eating a lot of chocolate cake, then playing guitar and writing a song with Pamela and the last of the wonderful things was seeing Across the Universe.

And it was amazing.

It was a lot harder to watch than I anticipated it being; I might've been emotional for the entire last 3/4 of the movie. I mean, full on, embarrassing, not-for-public crying. I think I might've sobbed once (or twice).
But, I'd recommend it. I was thrilled with all of the 60's culture that they incorporated into the movie. It was like a hippie "I spy" adventure. I was beside myself with joy as I discovered Jimmy Hendrix, Ken Kesey, the Merry Pranksters, etc. And the cinematography was pretty intense. Look out for the LSD-induced nudity, though.

And how about a clip from the movie? That guy has style.

2008-01-26T19:01:00.001-08:00

Ah, Celebrity

2008-01-23T14:16:00.000-08:00

Today, friends, I took a leap towards the stars.

Today, I e-mailed Hank Green.

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking "Who is Hank Green?" Well, let me tell you. Also: prepare to be amazed.

Hank Green is the brother of John Green (award-winning young adult fiction writer) and co-creater of the Nerdfighters! On January 1, 2007, Hank and his brother John began what was lovingly known as Brotherhood 2.0: the brother's fast-paced, clever and unforgivably nerdy video-blog. Hank and John took alternated every-other-day communicating with each other using Youtube to communicate for a year. Sadly, that year has come to an end, but the brotherhood will never die.

brotherhood2.com = made of awesome.

Anyway, hopefully he'll call me back. I need to interview him for an article.

Also...it feels like I slept standing on my head with my neck at a 90 degree angle last night. = not made of awesome.

Charlie Chaplan?

2008-01-16T22:02:00.000-08:00

I love a good theme party.

I mean, seriously. Mustaches: generally I'm against them. But tonight, it was only love.

Trent passed me the cupcakes, Brandon graciously allowed me to violate his personal space to lean out of a picture, and Amanda, Mallory, and Joshua, etc. were all wonderful to see again. I like seeing friends after a long hiatus. I think I'll start not seeing my friends for extended periods of time more often. It makes the reunion that much sweeter.

The End.

I (heart) Journalism

2008-01-16T13:52:00.000-08:00

So, I'm writing a piece on the new Southgate Shopping Center that's being built on University Avenue, and I just found out that the mall is being built on top of what used to be Provo's wetlands. So, they're relocating the wetlands to avoid environmentalist repercussions.

It's all very "I (heart) Huckabees" and...it kind of makes my day.

...If only I could get Jason Schwartzman out here to read some poems about a rock and saving the wetlands. That would make my heart soar!

Thinking and such

2008-01-15T11:42:00.000-08:00

This past week I have done something stupid.

I have let something that I love become a burden, even though I have all the time I need to do the things I've been avoiding, perhaps to allow myself to feel--miserable? Yes, miserable--for no reason other than the fact that when I have nothing of importance to feel or think, I fall back on dissatisfaction.

But, I shall no longer be dissatisfied! Until the next time that I am.
I am human after all, sheesh.

Also, I feel like I've been a distant friend to many of you, and I apologize. I would like to change that if I may, please.

Anyway. Across the Universe beckons me this weekend. I really want to see it with someone. Andrew is trying to shuffle work around so he can come down, which I believe I already mentioned would be nice, since he is a friend that I never get to see; alas I'm afraid fate may just be against us in this circumstance. So, maybe to a movie by myself, which is something I used to do a lot. It might be fun to go alone, though I feel like it's a movie experience that I might want to share with someone. Oh well! As Doris Day would sing: Whatever will be will be.

Images of broken light which dance before me like a million eyes...

2008-01-14T21:08:00.000-08:00

Today.

Talking to Braden from Thailand was a welcome distraction, and hearing all of his experiences in the past week made me rethink my shabby handfull of journal-worthy happennings in the same amount of time. Will my children read my journal and think that I wasted my life?! I can't let that happen--woah. Tragedy.

Also, Braden, I tried to take that personality test, but found myself on an endless road to no test that would give me a straight answer...I took one test, but it was wierd and then it compared me to the Penguin from Batman Returns...I refuse to accept that assessment!

Anyway. Perhaps I will see Across the Universe with Andrew this week. I hope so; that would be fun--and lately I have been starved of legitimate fun.

All "Frenched" Out

2008-01-12T22:34:00.000-08:00

I saw Amélie twice today, courtesy of the BYU International Cinema (free!) and it was lovely. Though, I re-realized my distaste for people who feel the need to verbalize really obvious things about the movie after it is over, and who are obviously dissatisfied with the conversation if you refuse to partake in such worthless banter. I just like to feel things, and have unspoken understandings with people who felt the same. Why do they always have to open their mouths and destroy an indescribable feeling by trying to say it with words? Somethings just can't be verbalized; not enough people understand that.

Speaking of verbs and such, I want to verbally abuse all of the people who laugh in movies when people kiss. If they can't handle emotion or sexuality then they probably shouldn't try to experience art. At least not while I'm trying to appreciate it.

By the way, I saw the guy who squeezed my finger on the first day of school. He came over and started talking to me at some dance that my roommates tricked me into going to (I promptly had them take me home where I could pout and watch TV). Anyway, he started saying something to me, but I didn't say one word to him. I just stared at him and thought, "You squeezed my finger." I think he felt sufficiently awkward after he said a few things and I was just looking at him. Then as he walked past me to go harass someone else he grabbed my shoulders and shook me a little and said, "Go dance! It's fun!" (we disagree on that). He is in BYUSA (WAAA)
I'm not making this up, folks.

In closing, you know what you should do? The next time you're walking alone, just look down at your feet. Focus on the steady rhythm of your walking, and let the sidewalk and the world be your peripheral. You'll start to feel like you're walking in place, and the world is only moving past you because you're pushing it backwards with your feet. "Every time you think you're walking you're just moving the ground" to quote Modest Mouse.

Goodnight, friends.

Oh where have you been, my blue-eyed son? And where have you been my darling young one?

2008-01-11T16:38:00.000-08:00

Then take me disappearin' through the smoke rings of my mind,
Down the foggy ruins of time, far past the frozen leaves,
The haunted, frightened trees, out to the windy beach,
Far from the twisted reach of crazy sorrow.
Yes, to dance beneath the diamond sky with one hand waving free,
Silhouetted by the sea, circled by the circus sands,
With all memory and fate driven deep beneath the waves,
Let me forget about today until tomorrow.

"He's not just singing, he's sermonizing. The tragedy is that the crowd is preoccupied with song."

I am watching "Don't Look Back" and I'm in Bob Dylan heaven.

I apologize for my hiatus from the blogging community that I've willingly signed my soul away too. Being at home with a dial-up internet connection is not conducive to thoughtramblings and not really worth the time it would take me to stick in the words and post the bulletin.

While in St. Louis I realized this: I really want to live there. I'm going to have an apartment with Michelle and our collaborative record collection alone will qualify us for being the coolest kids on the block.
Not that any of you care about that part of my life. You only know Utah Emily. Who is that anyway?

So, I will talk about Utah Emily......caution: possibly some PG material (for you folks who only watch Disney movies and listen to the Wicked soundtrack)

I had an interesting experience right after my first class. This guy behind me yelled out "Hey, girl in front of me!" So I thought that could possibly be me and turned around. Sure enough, this young bearded cad was addressing my person. "Yes?" I inquired. "Uh, my friend is from Japan..he has to pee and can't find it..where's the bathroom" or some crazy mindless jive like that. So, I pointed them in some direction, but I don't think it was even to a bathroom. And he cut me off, "yeeeaaah...I really like your look." Me- "Oh, thanks." *smile* But apparently he didn't think his compliment had been truly understood. "No, I mean it's really nice." Me-"Thank you." *smile* Then I learned of his creepy caddy nature. Him-"Can I see your left hand, please?" So, I, not thinking in "BYU" thoughts yet as I'd just 5 hours previously left St. Louis where people aren't insane, pulled my hand out of my pocket confusedly and presented it, palm up to this young man. He then proceeded to grab ahold of my ring finger and squeeze the place where a ring will (hopefully) go some day, and he unabashedly gestured to his friend and said "hey heeeeey!" And I pulled my hand away and said.."Ok...thankssss." *awkward smile* Then he exploded into a thousand shards of light.

Today I am considering the freedom and joys of a well-placed swear. What is swearing, though? If you ask my dad "It's only swearing if you take the Lord's name in vain." And for some people "bastard" is a swear, and to some it's only "rough-not for nice company" and the same goes for "hell" and "ass" (as in, "you're being an ass") and for my roommates "crap" or "ef" would qualify. Damn.
Will someone please agree with me that a well-placed swear word can be absolutely hilarious?

Watching this documentary makes me want to be in a band and be awesome. Simultaneously it makes me want to hug Bob Dylan.

I can't blog and love Bob Dylan at the same time, so I'm going to have to dedicate myself to one or the other....and...Bob Dylan has sexier thighs. Sorry, blog.

Ladies Love an Aqua Velva Man.

2007-12-25T14:50:00.000-08:00

Christmas at the Hudson's, oh, joys of wonderment! Everything was how it should be: gifts under the tree, we all in our pajamas, clever banter. I would put up some pictures, but the digital camera I recieved is...lacking. I will return it, and get a good camera, then I will post pictures.

Merry Christmas to all.

An exposé on being boring.

2007-12-14T13:07:00.001-08:00

I know a lot of boring people, and I've realized this: there are two kinds of boring people.

The first group of boring people are the people who never really leave their house, but are still really enjoyable, and never make you feel like you're wasting your life by sitting there with them all day/night.

The second group of boring people are these: the ones who do things...but not fun things. And they never seem to want to do anything that you suggest or would be interesting in doing. These are the people that make you want to punch your hand into a titanium support beam, and then stomp on your own face---Hey, anything to distract you from the overwhelming amount of time you spend trapped in your own apartment.

I JUST WANT TO GO TO THE INDIA GARDEN! IS THERE NO JUSTICE? IS THERE NO COMPASSION?

You want a blog, Tod Robbins? I'll give you a blog.

2007-12-12T19:25:00.000-08:00

Time is so strange and relative. And the experiences that we have within our different amounts of time are so unique, yet so universal.
Today was bizarre. I feel like I've come to several realizations, but I'm afraid that I don't really know what they mean.

I should've been born a grown up.

2007-10-17T19:38:00.000-07:00

So, Ryan had a birthday (thank you, Ryan) and we had a party! But not just any party. A Grown Up party. There were Hor D'oeuvres, champaign glasses full of Martinellis and Apple Beer, and a football game (waa waa). So, I took a bunch of pictures, but these aren't those pictures! These pictures are courtesy of Tod Robbins. Oh! The convenience of digital film!

It was this guy's birthday!:

These people planned the party!

This is what I'll look like when I'm an aristocrat. Kevin always looks this smart.

These people came too!

It was....awesome.

Pictures of Camping, Etc.

2007-10-14T16:40:00.000-07:00

This entry is LONG overdue. You have my most sincere apologies, friends.

Here are the pictures from my Camping trip a few weekends ago:

We had to stop for gas. And a watermelon (not to be confused with Veteres)

Once we had the perfect melon, Kirk and Jenny smiled, and we got back to the business of driving.

Then we set up camp. It was quaint.

This is the river that was aproximately 70.6 feet from our tents, just through the brush.

And this was our picnic table.

We needed a fire, so Kirk summoned the flames. (Ball of Fire!)

Knife+Meat+Fire=undeniable MANness.

I think she likes him or something.

The next morning Kirk re-lit the flame so we could have breakfast S'mores. (Also, earlier that morning, he had slaughtered a wild beast for our breakfast meats.)

Then Jenna cleaned our roasting sticks.

Then we went to Arches National Park, and to our great surprise and delight, it was National Parks Day! And we got in for free!

This is the first arch that we walked forever to see.

Then they all held hands a lot.

Then Kirk and Jenny were pretty adorable, and it was really windy.

Kirk gazed longingly in on the Firey Furnace, as we were not permitted to enter.

Then we moved on. These rocks were pretty tall. Too bad BYU ruins perfectly good pictures by putting huge red streaks across them.

And this arch was pretty cool.

Jenna sat dangerously close to the edge of some cliffs.

Falcor!

And then Kirk and Jenny unknowingly posed for this really awesome picture, that, without my permition, turned out to be really pretentious.

And that was the trip. It was fantastic. And this post took me far too long.

Yesterday was a good day.

2007-10-04T11:44:00.001-07:00

I sat on the couch in the Hot Struedel for 3 hours last night. Just talking.
I forgot how good it feels to waste time with some of my favorite people. Though, I will acknowledge that there can be too much of a good thing. I mean, we have to meet our obligations of school work, and also we need to keep time to feed our spirituality. It's just hard to remember that when I'm sitting on that couch. I swear, that house is the house that time forgot. I am usually pretty good at figuring out how long I've been somewhere, or what time it is, but when I'm in their living room, I can never tell! There must be a magic spell cast over it, or some sort of wizardry.

Also, Karen made some Pad Thai for dinner..and...it kind of made me want to cry for all the beauty in the world.

Speaking of crying: Burma is breaking my heart. Darfur is breaking my heart. Iraq is breaking my heart. Homelessness is breaking my heart. And my smallness and inability to make changes in the world is breaking my heart.
Matt. 24: 12 "And because iniquity shall abound, the love of many shall wax cold."
The hardest part about living right now, is seeing all the darkness and forcing myself to keep hoping for something better, and loving all people. Especially when I can see that the solution to all of the despair and anger, is simply kindness, service and compassion for our fellow man. But, I know that nothing can save the world from the path on which it has descended to take. I guess all we can do is keep loving, and keep trying.

**Side note: My friend just sent me a text that says: "ALWAYS follow your bliss!" And I think that's good advice to an extent. I mean, "all things in moderation" is a good rule to live by. If I always followed my bliss, I would never do my homework or maybe I would never have come to Utah, where I found happiness that I never would have known, and learned things I never would have learned if I hadn't taken a leap of faith away from my comfortable bliss that I'd established at home. I think that it is important to do things that make you happy, but I think that as fallible human beings, we don't always know what will make us the happiest in the end. So, I think that instead of "following our bliss," we all need to focus on being productive, and listening to the promptings of the holy spirit. Because, in my experience, that has been what's led me to some of my greatest happiness. Granted, also some of my greatest sorrow, but that sorrow has helped me to grow into who I am today.

I'm going to start posting some short stories that have been rolling around in my brains for a while now. So, keep an eye out for some E. Hudson originals.

On Utah, The Arcade Fire, The Office and Nerdfighters

2007-09-30T08:36:00.000-07:00

As far as putting myself into potentially awkward situations, I have no fear. Well, I have some fear, but I hide it behind brazen stubbornness; I refuse to miss out on something that I think would be enjoyable. This weekend I went camping. Not awkward, you say? Well, add this juicy bit of information into the mix: I went camping with two married couples. One of which are fairly newly weds, with whom I shared a tent. But I love them. And there's something to be said for peeing in the wilderness when it comes to bringing people together. Yes. The weekend was rather enjoyable. I do love camping, and Southern Utah is beautiful. We were surrounded by mammoth red rock faces, and breathtaking rock formations. The sky couldn't have been a more beautiful azure, and the red sand, the green shrubs/cacti, and the multi-colored rocks were a breathtaking combination. If it weren't for the wind trying to blow us off of 500,000 ft. high cliffs, and the sand exfoliating our skin and eyeballs at gusts of about 60 mph, it would've been a perfect experience. I used about 3 1/2 rolls of film out there, but I'm not sure if any will turn out, as I took them all on a very OLD, film camera that my dad gave me a couple years ago. We shall see, and if any of them turn out, I'll be sure to scan them, save them, and then upload them to the Blog! .....I miss the convenience of digital photography.....

Oh, and I won't say much, other than I love The Office with all of my soul, and "I know you, Micheal. I've seen you naked." "You don't know me, Pam. You've just seen my penis."

This week has been a week of wonderment. Before the camping, and before The Office, there was (drum roll, please) The Arcade Fire!
It was such an amazing show. Not only are they perfect performers, but the music sounds better live than it does on the album. They played a perfect mix of tunes from Funeral and Neon Bible, and ended the concert on the best note (no pun intended) possible: Wake Up. I would just like to say, that while I was rocking out, most passionately to my favorite song from Funeral, my friend Amanda pointed out that we were on the screen! And everyone could seen me dancing! It was quite an experience. I loved, repeat, LOVED every minute of it. Well, except when that drunk guy tried to rub up on me, and then turned to his friend, gestured towards me and said (in a gravelly, drunk guy voice) "I like the Asian!" I am not Asian. But it was dark, and he was....an idiot. However, I did have a moment of inspiration during the show. During their performance of No Cars Go, one line stuck out to me. "Between the click of the light and the start of the dream." And I realized, that if things seem to be going nowhere, like I'm in the dark and waiting for something great, even though I don't really know what that great thing will be, it's because I'm between the click of the light and the start of the dream. It's just a dark stage in life that requires a lot of faith. A stage that we keep repeating over and over and over until we die. Don't know where we're going...Let's go. Life is an adventure. We should spend less of it with sadness in our hearts.

So, to end on a positive note: Nerdfighters!
I'm not 100% sure how I became a Nerdfighter, but it is undoubtedly so. Also, I've decided what kind of a Nerdfighter I am. I would have to be a HeroQuest Nerdfighter. Or maybe a Josh Kirby: Time Warrior Nerdfighter...no, maybe I'm all of those Nerdfighters at once. I watch the Brotherhood 2.0 videos religiously, and enjoy their quirks and use of the English language most thoroughly. I have even come under the delusion that I am actually friends with John and Hank Green. Example: On Thursday, while shopping at Borders for a politically charged book for my good friend Tod's birthday, I thought to myself, "John Green writes books!" So, I walked briskly (did not run!) over to the Young Adult section, and found John's books! I grabbed a copy of Looking For Alaska, and ran over to my friend Pamela. The conversation went as follows:
"I found my friend's book!"
"What friend?"
"Oh...my friend John..."
"How do you know him?"
"I..uh..I watch his videos on Youtube....."
Then I realized that I am not friends with John Green. In fact, I've never met him. In fact, I'm kind of a creep for even claiming friendship.

There you have it. In summary: Southern Utah is beautiful, and you should share it with your friends. The Office will never die in my heart. The Arcade fire are inspirational, and I am not friends with John or Hank Green, but I am a proud Nerdfighter. you should be a Nerd Fighter too: www.brotherhood2.com

Until next time, friends.